I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
