Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Randomize
