my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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