Where is the hickey?
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
