The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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