woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
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