I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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