if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
