HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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