God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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