a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
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