He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
Randomize