It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
