I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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