I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
