can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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