yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
Randomize
