I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
The upside of Thirsty Thursdaying with the client last night was that he was so hungover that he didn't want to spend time wrangling over the contract extension this morning.
Boss just said I'm getting a bonus for this. Want to celebrate our anniversary a week early tonight?
This is why I married you.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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