so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
