I wish I only lived at night.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
