My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
