You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
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