I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
