OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
