Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
