how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Randomize
