I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Randomize
