i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
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