gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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