O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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