Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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