Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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