i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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