I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
