tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
