Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
