we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
