Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
