she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
