Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
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