i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
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