maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Too many penises have met your hands. Stop or die.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
