I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
only you would photoshop your dick
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Randomize
