Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize