YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
Randomize
