sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
