I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize