farters have to be the big spoon...
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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