You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Randomize
