he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
