i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
