Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
