Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Randomize
