Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
