I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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