Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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