I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
