The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
