If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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